Day 19 of 30-Day Writing Challenge
My first love was the Flower.
My parents never asked me if I found a boyfriend at school. Dating at such a young age was a foreign concept for them. So I thought, until my eight grade.
I don’t remember exactly when it started. I found my cheeks getting hot whenever he walked by me. My girlfriend asked me what was wrong. I said nothing. Since then I had to work hard so that nobody would find the connection between my cheeks and my behavior with him. In the recess, lunch time, after school… my eyes were always looking for him, but secretly.
Our math teacher had an open-door policy. After class several of us students would gather in his room, asking him for hints to solve math problems. He was the best student in math, and always in that group. Just because I wanted to be around him, I subscribed to the same math problem books and tried my best, although many of the problems were way beyond my head.
In Japan Valentine’s Day is hijacked by chocolate makers. On that day a girl can express her love openly to the boys by giving chocolates. Which girl gave which boy chocolates was a big thing in the class. I made sure to give not only him but several of my “boy” classmates, to express our “friendship,” not a special affection toward only one person.
Such secret love lasted until we graduated from high school.
My bittersweet puppy love. While I’m writing this, tears come out!
Six hundred years ago a famous Noh-play actor and playwright Zeami wrote in his book, “If it is hidden, it is the Flower.” Yes, that was my first love.