Which one can I control?
Photo by Author Akemi Sagawa
There is a famous story of the Buddha when he was born. The story is that as soon as he was born, he walked seven steps and uttered, “天上天下唯我独尊. “
There are so many English translations, but let me share with you my own interpretation:
“In the heaven and the earth (the vast world or universe), I exist here alone, and that is precious.”
I was born alone, and I will die alone. No matter how much I love my husband, the death will come to us separately. To me, aloneness describes my state of being or the simple fact of life. In this world, all I can do is realize this truth. I can’t do anything about it.
Loneliness is a state of mind or emotion, something that I feel. And how I feel inside, is determined by me. I have 100% control of how I feel, at least so I wish. I have a choice to be lonely or not. If I feel miserable when I feel lonely, I have a choice not to have such a feeling in me.
It’s becoming more and more important for me to distinguish between what I can control and what I can’t. My time on this earth is limited, and is getting shorter every moment. Anything I can’t control, I accept as it is. I only focus on what I can control, and choose the way I want.
Loneliness to feel ( or not feel, I have a choice), and aloneness to realize ( and I simply accept).
Does it make sense to you?