Those were my mother’s words I would often hear on the phone, when I started living alone, to go to college. Mother, I’m not a little girl anymore. Treat me as an adult, was my response. To my mother, however, I was still her daughter who needed her care.
Forty years later, living thousands of miles apart, my mother and I video chat almost every day.
Now it’s my mother’s turn to hear words like those stated above from me.
Mother, it sounds strange, but I’m kind of happy to be able to treat you like my child. Now I’m able to pay you back at least some of the abundant love you have given me.
Let me keep on treating you as if you were my daughter, the longer, the better…
In my teens and twenties, I was always overweight, by the Japanese standard anyway.
I had a hard time finding good-looking skirts and pants in my size. I hated my body shape, wished to be skinnier, weighed myself every day and night, got depressed if I gained half a pound, skipped breakfast, and got depressed again if the scale was not showing any sign of improvement. For a while, I was in the state of eating too much and throwing up right away (is it called bulimia?).
Then I turned 30. One day I told myself. “Let’s stop weighing myself. I will listen to my body. I will eat as much as I feel like eating. If I feel full, I will stop eating.”
Listening to my own body… That was the best decision I ever made.
Soon I stopped overeating and going to the bathroom right away. Whatever the kilograms or pounds, I threw away the number to describe my weight from the primary place in my memory pool. I was sick of creating an emotional rollercoaster every day by looking at the numbers.
Rather, I started touching my tummy, my thighs, arms, wherever in my body to give me some indication of my body weight. If I feel a little more volume of fat than before, I told myself, “Maybe you don’t need much food,” then I ate less.
In the last thirty years, I wonder how many times I stepped on a weighing scale at home. I have a scale, but now I use it to weigh our suitcases before going on a trip, not my body.
I can still wear the same jeans I bought over ten years ago. Once a year I step on a scale at the clinic for my annual physical checkup. My doctor hasn’t raised a red flag on the number it spits out.
I’m not a fashion model. My thighs are still pretty substantial. But I trust my own senses rather than a machine to tell me if I’m overweight or not. I want to be in control of my physical status.
Image of Muso Kokushi : Public Domain – Wiki Media
Out of the thousands of Buddhist temples in Kyoto, both Tenryuji Temple and Saihoji Temple are among the most famous for the beauty of their gardens. Steve Jobs used to visit Saihoji Temple, now well known for its beautiful moss garden, quite often with his family.
Zen Master Muso Kokushi (夢窓国師 1275 – 1351) designed both gardens. It is said that Saihoji Temple’s garden designed by Muso Kokushi is the oldest Japanese rock garden called Kare Sansui (枯山水).
Muso Kokushi was a highly respected Zen Master, and mentored Ashikaga Takauji (足利尊氏 1305 – 1358), the first Shogun in Ashikaga Shogunate and his brother Ashikaga Tadayoshi (足利直義 1307 – 1352).
In the dialogue between Tadayoshi, Muso Kokushi criticized sharply about then faddish tea gambling. Muso Kokushi himself loved the custom of drinking Matcha, not as a means for gambling, but as a useful tool to deepen his Zen practice.
Muso Kokushi saw something in common, something spiritual, among the practice of Zen, Japanese rock garden, and the ritual of serving Matcha.
So that you can arrange a beautiful arrangement on day 1
Photo by Author Akemi Sagawa
Today I conducted a private Ikebana workshop for a group of twelve women.
Nobody has ever done Ikebana before. For beginners like them, I normally give them one challenge for making an arrangement: Use only one kind of branch, and only one kind and color of flowers.
Today I provided two kinds of greens, and four different colors of the same flower, alstroemeria: red, pink, yellow, and purple.
The basic structure is the same. However, depending upon which branch and which color of flowers to use, quite a variety of arrangements are created.
As you can see in the photos below, Ikebana is an art form, giving a new life to flowers with your own creativity and expression. Just like no two persons are the same, no two Ikebana works are the same. Enjoy the photos!
When my husband moved from Florida to Seattle, his colleagues gave him a raincoat as a farewell gift.
As such is the reputation of Seattle. A TV crime drama called Killing was set in Seattle, and it was raining in every episode.
Well, having lived here for 28 years, I have to admit that Seattle’s reputation as a rainy city holds. According to National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), the Average precipitation days is over 156 days a year. It’s more than twice as many days as San Francisco (71 days/year), and 25% more than New York City (125 days/year).
By the amount of annual rainfall, however, Seattle doesn’t even come close to the top of the list. With 39 inches, Seattle picks up less precipitation each year compared to New York City (47 inches).
A drizzling shower early in the morning, thick fog developing late morning, the fog burns off by 2 o’clock in the afternoon, and the bright sunset… Such a variety of weather can be seen in a day, but still is counted as a rainy day.
I took the photo from our window. The rain shower cleansed the air. The leaves are vivid green. And here, it’s a rainbow!
When I read this week’s writing prompt “What Does Self-love Look Like To You?”, and wondered what I should about, the first scene that came to my mind was when I quit my job for the first time 32 years ago.
I was in Japan, working for a well-known investment bank, stepping up my career ladder, so it seemed. The company had even sponsored me to study for two years to get an MBA in the US. It was time to further advance my career in the company.
But instead, I chose to make a significant career change. I decided to work for a much smaller, younger company, the Japanese subsidiary of a US-based IT company, to pursue a different goal: to eventually move to the US. There was no guarantee that the young company would realize my goal, but I took the chance.
The Japanese company tried to dissuade me from quitting. I felt guilty about quitting also. The company had been so supportive of me. How can I be so disloyal? (You know, the work ethics in Japan 30 years ago was a lot different than now. Lifetime employment was still the norm among major corporations there.)
But my ultimate conviction was that there is always a replacement for the company, but there is no replacement for myself in my own life.
If I don’t love myself first, who else can? If I don’t take care of myself first, who else can? If I don’t take responsibility for my own life, who will?
My first expression of loving myself was quitting my first job to change my career.
Our trip to Vienna last Thanksgiving was a special reunion. After over 10 years of interval, my husband and I got together with our old-time Austrian friend and had a wonderful time together.
She was a great host. She showed us around the town, introduced us to her local friends, and took us to her favorite coffee shop and farmer’s market. After spending seven days with her, my husband and I developed illusions as if we were locals of Vienna.
Photo by Author Akemi Sagawa
The final night in Vienna. My husband and I were all done packing, but reluctant to admit we were leaving this beautiful city and our wonderful friend. When will we see her again…
Then she brought her calendar. So did we. Now the COVID lockdown is behind us, my husband and I will get back to our routine of traveling abroad for Thanksgiving. Why not she joins us next year? Would be fun to travel together! Where?
Somewhere warmer. Somewhere sunnier. Somewhere none of us have been before.
It didn’t take too long for the three of us to come to an agreement.
We will see each other again next November, in Israel!
JASSW was established in 1923 to promote mutual understanding and friendship between the peoples of Japan and Washington State by providing a forum for the exchange of ideas and information.
New Year’s party was held yesterday and many members old and new got together and enjoyed Ms. Chiyo Sanada’s powerful calligraphy art.
When talking about the relationship between the US and Japan in the last 100 years, it’s impossible to ignore World War II. Only after I moved to Seattle did I learn about the experiences that the Japanese Americans endured during the war.
Nations, after all, consist of people. How can we learn from history so that we won’t make the same mistake again? How can we expand mutual understanding and friendship beyond many borders in the world? I believe this community-level effort is vital to influence national-level relations.
There are four principles that each tea practitioner has to have in mind whenever we practice the Japanese tea ceremony.
…
和(wa)
“Wa” means harmony. Over a bowl of tea, the host and the guests collaborate to create a harmonious experience together. In order to best serve the guests, the host carefully chooses the utensils appropriate for the occasion.
The scroll, the incense container, the flower vase, and the flowers. All the things placed in the alcove in the tea ceremony symbolize some theme for the occasion. So do the tea bowls and all the other tea utensils. Nothing has the same design, but everything in the tearoom is in harmony.
敬(kei)
“Kei” means respect. Respect is the sincerity of heart that liberates us for an open relationship with other people, regardless of their appearance or status.
In the tearoom, a high-ranking samurai and a merchant would be equally treated. They show respect by bowing to each other. Respect is expressed not only between people but to our surroundings, nature, and everything that is enabling us to experience our lives.
清(sei)
“Sei” means purity. The host purifies the tea container and the tea scoop meticulously with the silk cloth. The host also cleans the tea bowl with hot water and a small white cloth. Everything is spick and span before the guests arrive, but the purification process continues during the tea service and when storing the utensils afterward in front of the guests.
The guests cleanse their hands and mouths before entering the tearoom. Through the simple act of cleaning, they clear “the dust of the world.” The guests clear worldly attachments from their hearts and minds. Only after putting aside material concerns, can they sense the pure and sacred essence of things, human beings, and nature.
寂(jaku)
“Jaku” means tranquility. Tranquility is not merely silence. It is the status of the heart and mind that is liberated from any worldly attachment. It’s the ultimate freedom!
Wa, Kei, Sei, Jaku… Over a bowl of tea, tea practitioners enjoy this profound life experience.
In my previous post, I introduced to you what Ikebana is. Originating in Japan, Ikebana is the art of flower arrangement. Also in my previous post, I listed 5 benefits of practicing Ikebana. Does it make you feel like trying it at home? Great! You want to give a new life to flowers!
Now, let me share with you what you need to prepare. What tools do you need?
Here is a list of tools you need for Ikebana.
Three Must-Haves
In order to try Ikebana, you need at least these three items:
Scissors
You need to cut branches and flowers, hence the first tool you need is a pair of scissors. The most common type is called Ikenobo hasami (hasami means scissors in Japanese). As you see in the photo above, the tip of the handles is curled up, giving appropriate weight on the handles. They are mainly made of iron or stainless steel. The size is about 6-7 inches long.
If such type of scissors is not available, don’t worry. A pair of garden pruning shears like the one shown above will work. Scissors you use for office work, however, wouldn’t be appropriate. Remember, branches are much harder and thicker than paper.
Kenzan
The pin frog to place the stems and flowers is called Kenzan. For the container with 12 inches diameter, a round Kenzan with 2.5 – 3 inches in diameter would be appropriate.
There are varieties of shapes and sizes of Kenzan. The Kenzan shown in the photo above is called Sun and Moon. I recommend this type for beginners.
Sometimes the branch you use may be so heavy that you will need some weight to avoid the heavy branch from tipping over. The moon part of the Kenzan can be a good counterweight in such a case.
Container
A round, shallow, flat-bottom container as shown in the photo above is most versatile for a beginner. Twelve inches in diameter is a good size. A square or rectangle shape will work, too. Any material would do, either ceramic, glass, or plastic.
If you can’t find any container dedicated to Ikebana, don’t worry. A pie dish in your kitchen is a great substitute. Make sure there are no holes or leakage!
Also Need to Have
Small bowl
You fill the small bowl with water and keep it beside the container. Whenever you cut a stem, you cut it under water. A bowl of 4-5 inches in diameter will be large enough.
Towel
In order to keep your scissors from rusting, you want to wipe out water from the blades after you cut stems. An old hand towel will be handy.
Nice to Haves (later, but not now)
Those items listed above are all you need to start Ikebana. As you keep practicing it, the next thing you want to add is a tall, slim container. With two containers, one flat and one tall, your Ikebana repertoire will drastically expand.
As you further advance your skills, you will find yourself adding such items below in your Ikebana tool kit: Wires, pins, staples, pliers, gloves, nails, hammers, etc.
