Loneliness to Feel, Aloneness to Realize

Which one can I control?

Photo by Author Akemi Sagawa

There is a famous story of the Buddha when he was born.  The story is that as soon as he was born, he walked seven steps and uttered, “天上天下唯我独尊. “

There are so many English translations, but let me share with you my own interpretation:

“In the heaven and the earth (the vast world or universe), I exist here alone, and that is precious.”

I was born alone, and I will die alone.  No matter how much I love my husband, the death will come to us separately.  To me, aloneness describes my state of being or the simple fact of life.    In this world, all I can do is realize this truth.  I can’t do anything about it.

Loneliness is a state of mind or emotion, something that I feel.  And how I feel inside, is determined by me.  I have 100% control of how I feel, at least so I wish.   I have a choice to be lonely or not.  If I feel miserable when I feel lonely, I have a choice not to have such a feeling in me.


It’s becoming more and more important for me to distinguish between what I can control and what I can’t.  My time on this earth is limited, and is getting shorter every moment.  Anything I can’t control, I accept as it is.  I only focus on what I can control, and choose the way I want. 

Loneliness to feel ( or not feel, I have a choice), and aloneness to realize ( and I simply accept).    

Does it make sense to you?

This Poem Defines the “Wabi” Spirit of Tea Ceremony

No flowers, no tinted leaves. 

Photo by Gabriella Clare Marino on Unsplash

Born a year before the death of Murata Juko, Takeno Jōō (武野 紹鴎, 1502–1555) was a tea master who developed further the concept of “wabi” in the Japanese tea ceremony.

Jōō was born to a wealthy merchant in the town of Sakai and spent his youth studying poetry in Kyoto.  At the same time, he also practiced tea ceremony and became to be known as a master.


Out of so many classic poems that he studied,  Jōō used to recite one particular poem that was written by Fujiwara no Teika (1162-1241), because in this poem he found the essence of “wabi,” the very concept that he pursued in tea ceremony.

見渡せば Miwataseba
花も紅葉も Hanamo momiji mo
なかりけりNakari keri
浦の苫屋のUrano tomaya no
秋の夕暮れ Akino yugure

The English translation of this poem is introduced in Kakuzo Okakura’s The Book of Tea as below:

“I look beyond;
Flowers are not,
Nor tinted leaves.
On the sea beach
A solitary cottage stands
In the waning light
Of an autumn eve.”


Among us, tea ceremony practitioners today, this poem is a must to recite.  No flowers, no leaves.  You see only “no-thingness.”  Can you see the essence of “wabi”  spirit in this poem?

Source: The Book of Tea by Kakuzo Okakura (gutenberg.org)

The Best Time in Spring is Dawn

Japan’s most famous essay written in the 11th century “Makura no Soshi” tells so

Photo by Josh Felise on Unsplash

When asked about seasons, a Japanese person, with no exception, would utter “春はあけぼの Haru ha akebono!”  Featured in elementary school textbooks, the opening phrase of this famous essay called “Makura no Soshi 枕草子” is so ingrained in our brains. 

Makura no Soshi (The Pillow Book) was written by Sei Shonagon 清少納言, a court lady, in the late 990s and early 1000s.  In this essay, with her sharp wit, Sei Shonagon depicted her observations about nature and her everyday life in the imperial court.

More than a thousand years later, we still enjoy this essay and learn how the aristocrats in Japan used to perceive and conduct their lives.

Sei Shonagon starts by listing the best time of the day for each season.  The best time in spring is dawn, according to her. Below is the English translation of the opening phrases of Makura no Soshi by Ivan Morris (1925 – 1976), an English writer, translator, and editor of Japanese studies.   I think his translation reflects the snappy, witty rhythm of the original writing by Sei Shonagon quite well. Here you go!

In spring it is the dawn that is most beautiful.  As the light creps over the hills, their outlines are dyed a faint red and wisps of purplish cloud trail over them.

In summer the nights.  Not only when the moon shines, but on dark nights too, as the fireflies flit to and fro, and even when it rains, how beautiful it is!

In autumn the evenings, when the glittering sun sinks close to the edge of the hills and the crows fly back to their nests in threes and fours and twos; more charming still is a file of wild geese, like specks in the distant sky.  When the sun has set, one’s heart is moved by the sound of the wind and the hum of the insects.

In winter the early mornings.  It is beautiful indeed when snow has fallen during the night, but splendid too when the ground is white with frost; or even when there is no snow or frost, but it is simply very cold and the attendants hurry from room to room stirring up the fires and bringing charcoal, how well this fits the season’s mood!  But as noon approaches and the cold wars off, no one bothers to keep the braziers alight, and soon nothing remains but piles of white ashes.     

Source: The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon, translated by Ivan Morris

Passionate Love, Like River’s Flow

The most passionate love poem in Hyakunin Isshu

Photo by x ) on Unsplash

Ancient Japanese poets weren’t shy and quite good at expressing their passionate love in varieties of ways.  Out of 100 poems in Hyakunin Isshu 百人一首, as many as 43 sing about love.

And out of those 43 love poems, which one is the most passionate?  I would pick the one below. What does an ancient love poem have to do with the river’s flow, you may wonder…


77/10 崇徳院- Sutokuin

瀬を早み岩にせかるる滝川の われても末に逢はむとぞ思ふ

THE rock divides the stream in two,
  And both with might and main
Go tumbling down the waterfall;
  But well I know the twain
  Will soon unite again.


Quite an appropriate poem of the river’s flow on this Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?

Our Life, Like River’s Flow

According to the 12th-century Japanese poet

Photo by Author Akemi Sagawa

It’s almost impossible not to recite the opening phrase of Hojoki.  The image of the flowing river is so inseparable from this essay written in 12th-century Japan, by Kamo no Chomei (1155 – 1216). 

There are quite a few English translations of this famous opening phrase.  Among them, the one by Minakata Kumagusu is my favorite.  It goes like this:

“Of the flowing river the flood ever changeth, on the still pod the foam gathering, vanishing, stayth not.  Such too is the lot of men and of the dwellings of men in this world of ours.” 

Translated by Minakata Kumagusu and Viktor Dickins

In this quite short essay, the author mentions disasters, both natural and human-made, that he experienced while living in Kyoto. 

  • a great fire in 1177
  • a significant storm in 1180
  • a temporary move of the capital to Fukuhara and the great confusion caused by it in 1180
  • a terrible famine in 1181 – 1182
  • a devastating earthquake in 1185

So many people’s lives were lost.  So many houses, small and large, were destroyed.  Wealth, power, fame… nothing stays the same.  How fragile a person’s life…

Impermanence is the underlying theme of this essay.  And the author finds the theme best exemplified by the river’s flow.

行く川の流れは絶えずしてしかも元の水にあらず。澱みに浮かぶうたかたは、カウ消えかつ結びて久しく止まることなし。世の中の人と住みかと、またかくの如し。

Source: Minakata Kumakusu and F. Victor Dickins “A Japanese Threau of the Twelfth Century, Notes from a Jo-Square Hut”, Journal of the Royal Asiatic Society of Great Britain and Ireland, April, 1905.

How Many Moon Poems in Hyakunin Issyu?

There are 12 out of 100!

Photo by Author Akemi Sagawa

Moon is a mystery to me.  Most of the time when the moon is shining in the sky, I’m asleep.  With the convenience of electricity, I no longer have to depend on the moonlight to study or read at night. 

So whenever I read poems written by ancient people, I’m awed by their close attention to the moon.  Before the sky was invaded by artificial brightness, the moon must have been much more intimate in people’s lives. 


Hyakunin Isshu (百人一首)is a classical Japanese anthology of one hundred waka poems by one hundred poets compiled by Fujiwara no Teika (藤原定家 1162 – 1241).  The selection ranges from as old as the one written by Emperor Tenji (626 – 672) to Teika’s contemporary. 

I’m not a competitive player of Hyakunin Isshu card game, but I can still recite some of the poems.


Here is a list of 12 poems in Hyakunin Isshu that read about the moon.  The English translation is according to William N. Porter which is published in 1909.

Since I only memorized them in Japanese, it’s a great opportunity to refamiliarize these poems in English translation. Here you go!

7/100 阿倍仲麻呂 – Abe no Nakamaro
天の原ふりさけ見れば春日なる 三笠の山に出でし月かも
WHILE gazing up into the sky,
  My thoughts have wandered far;
Methinks I See the rising moon
  Above Mount Mikasa
  At far-off Kasuga

21/100 素性法師 – Sosei Hoshi
いま来むと言ひしばかりに長月の 有明の月を待ち出でつるかな
THE moon that shone the whole night through
  This autumn moon I see,
As here I wait thy well-known step,
  For thou didst promise me—
  ‘I’ll surely come to thee.’

23/100 大江千里 – Ooe no Chisato
月見ればちぢにものこそ悲しけれ わが身一つの秋にはあらねど
THIS night the cheerless autumn moon
  Doth all my mind enthrall;
But others also have their griefs,
  For autumn on us all
  Hath cast her gloomy pall. 

30/100 壬生忠岑 – Mibu no Tadamine
有明のつれなく見えし別れより 暁ばかり憂きものはなし
I HATE the cold unfriendly moon,
  That shines at early morn;
And nothing seems so sad and grey,
  When I am left forlorn,
  As day’s returning dawn.

31/100  坂上是則 – By Saka-no-Uye no Korenori
朝ぼらけ有明の月と見るまでに 吉野の里に触れる白雪
SURELY the morning moon, I thought,
  Has bathed the hill in light
But, no; I see it is the snow
  That, falling in the night,
  Has made Yoshino white.

    36/100 清原深養父 – Kiyohara no Fukayabu
    夏の夜はまだ宵ながら明けぬるを 雲のいづこに月宿るらむ 
    TOO short the lovely summer night,
      Too soon ‘tis passed away,
    I watched to see behind which cloud
      The moon would chance to stay,
      And here’s the dawn of day!

    57/100 紫式部 – Murasaki Shikibu
    めぐりあひて見しやそれとも分かぬ間に 雲隠れにし夜半の月かな
    I WONDERED forth this moonlight night,
      And some one hurried by;
    But who it was I could not see,–
      Clouds driving o’er the sky
      Obscured the moon on high..

    59/100 赤染衛門 – Akazoe Emon
    やすらはで寝なましものを小夜更けて かたぶくまでの月を見しかな
    WAITING and hoping for thy step,
      Sleepless in bd I lie,
    All through the night, until the moon,
      Leaving her post on high,
      Slips sideways down the sky.

    68/100 三条院 – Sanjo In
    心にもあらでうき世に長らへば 恋しかるべき夜半の月かな 
    IF in this troubled world of ours
      I still must linger on,
    My only friend shall be the moon,
      Which on my sadness shone,
      When other friends are gone.

    79/100 左京大夫顕輔 – Sakyo no Taiu Aki-suke
    秋風にたなびく雲の絶え間より もれ出づる月の影のさやけさ
    SEE how the wind of autumn drives
      The clouds to left and right,
    While in between the moon peeps out,
      Dispersing with her light
      The darkness of the night.

    81/100 後徳大寺左大臣 – Go Tokudai-ji Sadaijin
    ほととぎす鳴きつる方をながむれば まだ有明の月ぞ残れる
    THE cuckoo’s echo dies away,
      And lo! The branch is bare
    I only see the morning moon,
      Whose light is fading there
     Before the daylight’s glare. 

    86/100 西行法師 – Saigyo Hoshi
    嘆けとて月やはものを思はする かこち顔なるわが涙かな 
    O’ERCOME with pity for this world,
      My tears obscure my sight;
    I wonder, can it be the moon
      Whose melancholy light
      Has saddened me to-night?

     Which poem is your favorite?


    Source: A Hundred Verses from Old Japan (The Hyakunin-Isshu) translated by William N. Porter (1909) – Sacred Texts

    About Love:  A Misinterpretation

    Day 21 of 30-Day Writing Challenge

    Tosa Mitsuoki (1617-1691), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

    The topic of a Japanese podcast, which I regularly listen to, was the Tale of Genji on that day. 

    The Tale of Genji, a claimed to be the world’s first novel, was written in early 11th century by the noblewoman and lady-in-waiting Murasaki Shikibu.  Although it was written a thousand years ago and it is pretty lengthy with 54 chapters, this novel still is quite popular today.  Many famous authors challenged to translate it into contemporary Japanese language.  I’m a beneficiary of such modern versions. There is even a manga version of this novel which is a mega hit.

    Why does this old literature still entertain so many people today?  The podcast concludes because it depicts so effectively the fundamental human psychology through romance, politics and power struggle, and history.  The core nature of human beings hasn’t changed since the days when this novel was written.

    One thing that has changed since then, however, is the meaning of the character  “愛,” says the podcaster.  

    In the days of the Tales of Genji, this kanji character meant nothing but sexual relationships.  And people in Japan, both men and women, used to have very little guilt on sexuality. 

    The podcaster blames the Meiji Restoration in late 19th century for translating the English word “love” into this Japanese character “愛”.  He claims that this translation has brought to Japan the ethical morality of the Western world that platonic relations is higher than sexual relationship.

    I tend to agree to this podcaster’s viewpoint.  When people talk about this English word “love,” some kind of moral dilemma is attached to it. On one hand I’m familiar with this concept because I grew up in the modern Japan.   

    But on the other hand, I still have strong connection to the old Japan when such dilemma didn’t exist.  Through such ancient literature as the Tale of Genji, as well as some old stories I heard of my great grandmother.