Month: October 2022

How about Loving Yourself First?

Photo by Kevin Grieve on Unsplash

Loving someone is wonderful…. Until that person is gone.  Left alone, you suddenly feel empty inside.  You feel helpless, hopeless, and valueless… Miserable.  Is that the price you pay for loving someone? 

Loving someone sounds virtuous.  Loving yourself sounds selfish.  But here lies a paradox, in my humble opinion.

Loving someone over yourself simply means that you let that someone dictate your emotional status.  You hand over the control of your emotion to that someone.  It’s like you lean over your entire body and existence to that someone.  What a burden whoever that someone feels!  Even before that someone leaves you, you emptied the love in you and dumped it over that someone.

Loving yourself first means you take full responsibility for your emotion.  You are not dependent on anybody else for controlling your emotion.  You fill yourself with love first.  Only then you let your love overflow to someone and other people around you. 

Even if that someone is gone, you are totally fine, since you are filled with love anyway. you don’t feel any emptiness.

And the very fact that you are filled with your own love, you are standing with your own feet. You are not leaning toward anybody.  That someone is not feeling any burden, therefore thereis less chance that someone leaves you. 

Someone said, “I can’t live without you” and “I can’t walk without a clutch” are the same meaning.  I agree.  Let’s stand firm, let’s fill yourself with love first.  With love overflowing from you, someone and anyone around you will benefit.

Day 24 of 30-Day Writing Challenge

Lessons I learned in ikebana (Japanese flower arrangement):

• Less is more.
• Symmetry is boring.  Make asymmetry, and can you still make it beautiful?
• No two arrangements are the same, even if you use the same materials and the same container.
• Ikebana is to give a new life to flowers, with your own creativity and imagination.
• Three basic elements of ikebana: line, Mass, Color.
• Three basic techniques of ikebana: cut, bend, fix.
• The canvas of ikebana is three dimensional.
• Only one branch can express so many things – direction, movement, and energy flow.
• Ikebana reminds you of geometry class in high school: With two lines you make surface.  With three lines you create depth.
• High contrast of colors, strong statement.   Similar colors, harmony.
• Always consider the surroundings where you place your arrangement.
• All the flowers are beautiful, but not all the ikebana arrangements are beautiful. 
• Always keep the workspace clean.  Not only the final work but the process is also important.
• Always wipe out your scissors to avoid rust.
• Ikebana and calligraphy have similarity.  Ikebana and music have common factors.
• We cut branches from nature and create what didn’t exist in nature before.
• You are not taking out.  You are creating space.
• Space between branches and flowers are not vain, but a very important element.
• Don’t hesitate to use many materials.  Don’t waste any material.
• Look closer.  What do you see?  Look back.  What do you see?
• Every material has the front and back.  Why?  Because they grow under the sun light.
• You can only learn how flexible the branch is by actually touching and trying to bend it.
• You can’t float the branch.  We are living in the world with gravity.
• You can’t take away colors from the materials.  Use them.
• Scissors are a cutting tool, not a tool for putting together.  When in doubt, leave the branch longer.  You can always cut, but once cut short you can never make it longer.
• With only three branches you can create a basic structure of the arrangement.
• You always want a focal point.
• When arranging with many different kinds of flowers, try to place the darkest color in the center to keep the overall harmony.
• Shorter flowers in the back to add depth.
• Always keep in mind from which direction you see the arrangement.  Are you placing it against the wall?  Above the eyesight?  On the floor so that people will look down upon?
• Always cut flower stems under water it will last longer.

Maybe that’s all I’ve learned in ikebana and also that’s all I teach my ikebana students. 

You can read through the list less than three minutes, but it takes more than lifetime to perfect it.  That’s the beauty of learning. 

Day 23 of 30-Day Writing Challenge

Photo by Luma Pimentel on Unsplash

Dear those of you who are to be born in 2022,

When I was born 60 years ago, I was one of 3.15 billion people on the earth.
Now you will be born as one of 7.98 billion. 

Seventy-six percent of the total habitable land was natural (forest and grassland) in 1900.  In 1950 it went down to 58%, and further down to 53% in 2018.

The green leaves of trees in natural forest and grassland are generators of oxygen, something you will need to live. You have to share less oxygen with more people.

In the last three years people in the whole world suffered the COVID-19 pandemic.  More than 6.5 million people died of this virus and the threat continues.  If you are born in the hospital, I bet everybody who helped you come out of your mother’s womb is wearing a mask. 

According to World Health Organization, infectious diseases and biodiversity is closely related:

Human activities are disturbing both the structure and functions of ecosystems and altering native biodiversity. Such disturbances reduce the abundance of some organisms, cause population growth in others, modify the interactions among organisms, and alter the interactions between organisms and their physical and chemical environments. Patterns of infectious diseases are sensitive to these disturbances. Major processes affecting infectious disease reservoirs and transmission include, deforestation; land-use change; water management e.g. through dam construction, irrigation, uncontrolled urbanization or urban sprawl; resistance to pesticide chemicals used to control certain disease vectors; climate variability and change; migration and international travel and trade; and the accidental or intentional human introduction of pathogens.

World Health Organization

Since the 1950s, the wild animal populations have more than halved.   The loss of biodiversity is no joke. 

In 2019, suicide is a leading cause of death, especially in young people.  There seems to have gotten more difficult to find joy of living than when I was a kid. 

I had never seen a TV until I was 4 or 5.  The screen didn’t have any color until 10 or 11 years old.  Now you will see vivid color videos the moment you are born.  Your parents will likely keep showing it to you with a tablet while they do their errands.  You may have seen every animal and creature on earth on the 2-D screen before you even touch a real dog for the first time.     

With a helmet on your head when you start learning how to ride a bicycle, and with adults’ watching you when you climb up the jungle gym, you are much safer than when I used to play outside.  But who was having more fun?  I don’t know. 

Should I be proud of the convenience and comfort you enjoy?  Maybe.  Should I be sorry for the mess we have created? Definitely.  But please don’t complain about the situation you are in.  Just like you didn’t, I didn’t have a choice of when to be born. 

No time was perfect.  There have always been problems.  Depending upon the time we were born, we face different challenges.  Please look around you with your own eyes, find problems you can tackle, and take action with your own capability.  I will try to do the same with my time still remaining on the earth.    

Day 22 of 30-Day Writing Challenge

This morning I missed joining The Writer’s Hour: Daily Writing Sessions.  I couldn’t get out of bed at 8am.  Now it’s noon, but I’m still in bed.

Normally I would sit in my den downstairs, looking out the window. 

I would see a pine tree.  The little sapling I got from Arboretum 20 years ago is now taller than my height. The branches are stylishly trimmed by my pruner friend. 

In the center of the tiny front yard is a maple tree with variegated leaves. When I bought it was labeled as Japanese maple, but it doesn’t have the graceful drooping silhouette. The trunk is rather straight.  My pruner always struggles with this one. 

On the boarder I planted 11 Buddha’s yew about 7 years ago.  Finally they are tall and thick enough to almost hide the yard from the side walk, giving me more privacy.

I covered the majority of the front yard with light gray gravel, imitating the sea.  The area where the maple tree is planted is considered to be an island.  I placed a stone-carved carp on the gravel.  Karesansui 枯山水 is the official term for this type of Japanese garden.  Instead of creating a real pond, the gravel represents water. 

I created it with my own sweat equity.  Without my continuous care, this space will be full of weeds.

Today I can’t see my own creation from my bedroom upstairs.  Rather, I see four chairs and a wooden table on the small balcony outside the window.  How many times did I sit in the chair this summer?  How many more summers will I sit there? 

The half of the of the view from the window is the gray sky.  Clouds with darker shade of gray are sliding from left to right.  The Olympic Mountains are completely hidden. I can only see the shoreline of Bainbridge Island beyond the Puget Sound. 

The two Douglas fir trees on the left are now more than twice the height of our neighbor’s house.  When we moved in here I could barely see the top above their roofline.  The branches on the top of the trees are swaying.  If an eagle were resting on the branch, would it get motion sickness? 

The window is now getting diagonal marks.  It has started to rain.  The rain that should help contain the wildfire.  The rain that would quench the thirst of my trees.  Today I welcome the rain. 

The island covered with green trees, sound water, mountains, the cloud, and the sky… A hundred years from now they all will still be here. But not me.  I will be gone by then. Compared to their existence, what a pity, short life I have. 

The fifth COVID vaccine shot has knocked me for a day.  Tomorrow I will be well again.  Tomorrow I will glance at these trees and the sky only for seconds before rushing downstairs, occupied by my daily chores.   Today, however, I will keep on staring out the windows, facing the truth of my brief life. 

Day 20 of 30-Day Writing Challenge

I knew that he changed his name from Akihiro Maruyama to Akihiro Miwa, but that was about all I knew about him.  He is older than my father, why would I be interested in him?

When I watched his documentary program on TV, and when I saw a photo of him about the time he had started singing in Tokyo right after World War II, I had a crash on him!

Not only his beauty, his life is full of color.

• He is a survivor of the atomic bomb in Nagasaki.
• He is the first singer song writer in Japan. 
• He never hid his LGBTQ identity.
• One of his most famous song “Yoitomake no Uta” had been banned from commercial broadcasting for a long time.
• He was a close friend of Yukio Mishima, a famous Japanese author who committed seppuku in 1970.
• His recital is always sold out.

An amazing human being.  I’m a big fan of his books, too.  Too bad his work (his music as well as books) is not well known by the world. 

Day 19 of 30-Day Writing Challenge

My first love was the Flower.

My parents never asked me if I found a boyfriend at school.  Dating at such a young age was a foreign concept for them.  So I thought, until my eight grade.

I don’t remember exactly when it started.  I found my cheeks getting hot whenever he walked by me.  My girlfriend asked me what was wrong.  I said nothing.  Since then I had to work hard so that nobody would find the connection between my cheeks and my behavior with him.  In the recess, lunch time, after school… my eyes were always looking for him, but secretly.

Our math teacher had an open-door policy.  After class several of us students would gather in his room, asking him for hints to solve math problems.  He was the best student in math, and always in that group.  Just because I wanted to be around him, I subscribed to the same math problem books and tried my best, although many of the problems were way beyond my head. 

In Japan Valentine’s Day is hijacked by chocolate makers.  On that day a girl can express her love openly to the boys by giving chocolates.  Which girl gave which boy chocolates was a big thing in the class.  I made sure to give not only him but several of my “boy” classmates, to express our “friendship,” not a special affection toward only one person.

Such secret love lasted until we graduated from high school.

My bittersweet puppy love.   While I’m writing this, tears come out!

Six hundred years ago a famous Noh-play actor and playwright Zeami wrote in his book, “If it is hidden, it is the Flower.” Yes, that was my first love.    

Day 18 of 30-Day Writing Challenge

1. My life started by cheating my birthday by one day.
2. Two of my birthdays (one in family registration and the real one) are in different day, month, and year.
3. I’m the first child for my parents.
4. My parents didn’t put too much thought about my name.  My mother once told me that my father named me after his first love.  I have never confirmed with my father on this.
5. If I had not been born in another hour, the doctor would have given up on me to save my mother’s life.
6. I was born a normal size, but in three months I was way bigger than normal child.
7. When my father took me to a toy store to buy me a doll, the store clerk asked my father why he was a doll for a boy.  I cried.
8. In my neighborhood there used to be a TV repairer who replaced the burned vacuum tubes in the TV.
9. The shop owner used to give me 10 yen as stipend whenever I came shopping for my mother. 
10. Our first dog, named John, didn’t have any teeth.  I still wonder why.
11. John was once missing for a whole week.  When he came back his body was covered with mud.  I washed away all the mud for him.  He looked happy to see me again.
12. I used to love watching Godzilla movies. A small movie theater was within walking distance.  Or my mother used to take me to the theater by riding public bus.  At that time the subway station was not built in our neighborhood yet.     
13. I was the tallest in the class until my fifth grade, among all the boys and girls.
14. There was an earthquake on the first day at my elementary school.
15. I was able to swim 50m in free style in the second grade. I had to swim twice because my teacher didn’t believe it at first.
16. In my elementary school we all watched an animation movie about a rice ghost.  A boy used to leave so much rice in the bowl.  After being scolded by a rice ghost in his dream, the boy ate all the rice, without leaving even one grain. Since then we ate all the rice in the bowl.
17. Ms Izawa was my homeroom teacher in my first grade.  Every morning she would if we brought a handkerchief and tissue paper with us.  She also checked if our nails were clean.  She taught us how we can clean our nails by washing our hair thoroughly. 
18. Forward, upward circling was one of my favorite.
19. I have 17 cousins.
20. My family moved from the center of Osaka City to suburbs in my 3^rd grade.
21. In my 6^th grade two of my classmates (both were girls) surpassed me in height.  I learned humiliation for the first time.
22. I stopped growing in height in my 5^th grade, but I gained 20 pounds between my 5^th grade and 6^th grade.
23. I used to bully boys who bullied one of my girlfriends in 5^th and 6^th grade.
24. I went to Osaka Expo in 1970 so many times but never visit the US Pavilion and saw the stone on the moon.  The line was always too long and my mother never bothered to wait in line.
25. I used to take train to go to my elementary school, but often walk back home.
26. I used to walk through the field full of figs.  Some fruits were left on the trees because they were too ripe.  I would sometime take the very ripe fig from the tree and throw very close at my friend’s feet. 
27. We used to play in the old shrine on the way home from school. 
28. The elementary school building was very old.  Every day after class we were supposed to wipe the hardwood floor with wet cloth.  We sometime had a race: who would wipe the long hallway fastest from one end to the other.
29. There were three Akemis in my third grade class. 
30. I learned the piano from 3 years old until 7^th grade.  I wish I continued the practice.